How I’ve felt since leaving college…

If you’d have asked me a month ago, when I was knee deep in exams and stress, how I felt about leaving college I’d have probably cried with happiness at the thought of it. I felt so ready to leave, I’d outgrown being there and felt like I needed to move on. I was counting down the days until my last exam, which could not have come quick enough. I was ecstatic to leave. I did have a tiny bit of sadness, as I was walking out of college a different person than who I was when I walked in two years ago. I did a lot of growing at college and I’m so happy at the confidence and experiences I’ve gained during my time there.

I had a long list of things I was going do in my long summer that did not include getting a job. I planned on reading lots of books, writing lots and being devoted to a fitness plan.None of which had happened as of yet. I have read a bit more than I did before, haven’t done much writing and have indulged in pizza and chocolate fingers more now than ever. But I have had so much fun so far, I’ve spent time with my family, celebrated with my friends and had so many lie ins and lazy days I’ve lost count!

But I haven’t felt as amazing as I’d imagine. I thought I’d feel like a freed bird but I’ve found myself feeling like I’m lacking a purpose and missing my stationary and files. I keep going on University blogs and feeling so excited for September.

Results day feels like so long away and the more I think about it the more I feel queasy. I’m so anxious about not getting the results that I want but at the end of the day I tried my absolute hardest and worked myself literally into the ground. I hope all of my hard work has paid off.

Although I’ve only been off of college for two weeks they haven’t gone as expected but I’ve got a lot more to not only prepare for results day and uni but get started on my long list of summer to do’s.

Some of my highlights so far have been-

-Driving to my sisters in Winstanley on my own which is the furthest I’ve driven. I got to spend some quality time with my amazing sister, nieces and nephew.

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-Our leavers celebration, I felt amazing and it was such a good night. I had a spray tan which literally did wonders for my confidence!! I got my hair done at Beyond The Fringe which I was so impressed with, I did my makeup myself and my culotte jumpsuit was so comfortable (it was from Boohoo!!).

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-Exploring Windermere on my Momma’s birthday which was so lovely. Living in St.Helens means that when I venture out to somewhere picturesque and beautiful I can appreciate its beauty so much more and that rung true for Windermere. Also, happy birthday mum you’re a star

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-Binge watching Love Island and Big Brother in my pyjamas, there’s nothing quite like it

-Going to the cinema to watch Despicable Me 3 and Cars 3. I loved both but Cars 3 was just incredible, it blew me way and I am so happy with it!! I also got a Cars 3 poster which I literally want to frame and put above my bed, Cars is one of my favourite Disney films ever and I’m beyond happy with the third instalment (I just hope it isn’t the last!!!)

-Starting to be a bit healthier and working out. I’m slowly feeling stronger and have started to enjoy exercising, which I track on my watch with the workout app

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-My sister is getting married!!! Planning for it has been the highlight of both my holidays so far and my year, I’m beyond excited. We went to see her try on her gorgeous dress last week and she looks like an absolute princess, I’m so excited for the hen party and to drag her up that aisle!!

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-My brother graduated!! I’m a very proud sister, it was such an amazing, sunny day- perfect to celebrate his incredible achievements.

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I know it’s only a short post but I felt like this was something that I wanted to write about as I really did not expect to feel like I do. I’ll probably write another blog post before I start at University about how my summer, birthday and results day went. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed it.

*EDITED*

I wrote this just over a week ago when I was a little unsure about how I feel and wasn’t 100% at all. Now I am literally the happiest I have EVER been, I’ve got a constant smile on my face that refuses to be wiped off. I’m feeling so inspired, my inspiration took a knock leaving college and without putting all of my attention, concentration and determination into something I did feel a bit lost. But now, I’m putting everything that I can into my blog which is making me so happy. I’ve adjusted my outlook on life a little bit so I’m more positive and rather than mourned what ended a couple of weeks ago, I’m living in the moment and enjoying each and every day.

My social media:

Twitter: @molliewesthead

Instagram: @molliewesthead

 

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