This is a post that I never thought I’d be writing. But here we are- as of Monday the 5th of February I have withdrawn from university. It was not an easy decision to make and has come with many repercussions but it’s a decision that I’ve made because it is beneficial for me and my health. So, I thought I’d do a post to share my decision with you all, explain why I’ve decided to do so and go through the whole process.
I have been unhappy at university for a very long time. In October when I’d only been studying there for a month I started having doubts about my course (I was studying English) and my future with the degree. I started to think that I was wasting my time, I was looking into conversion courses for after I’d graduated and other degrees to do after this one as it wasn’t opening the doors that I wanted opened. Baring in my mind I’d made the decision of what course to study over a year and a half ago when I was a completely different person and wasn’t 100% what I wanted to do.
I didn’t want to go back after Christmas, being frankly honest the only thing that really motivated me to go back was the student loan that I’d be getting. Since I went back in January my anxiety has been through the roof. Baring in mind, I hadn’t had a panic attack since last July so I was doing incredibly well with dealing with my anxiety so it was quite a shock when it came back in January and was literally crippling. I had a very bad panic attack whilst driving too uni one day, that was the moment that I realised that it really was getting bad. On the last day that I attended university I had to sit outside the room building myself up to going in because I was so anxious to do so, every single ounce of my being was telling me not to go in but I did and that was the last time that I did. I drove home that night after a hella long day, I was shaking with nerves and felt like I’d well and truly been broke, I’d had enough and I knew deep down that I’d already made my decision. Anxiety is awful, I’ve been putting off getting help for the past few months but now I’ve made the decision to leave uni for the sake of my health I know I need to seek professional help.
I think another factor that played quite a big role in it was the fact that I live at home. That definitely impacts on the social side of things which I’m not going to go into too much in this as some of the things are a bit too personal to me. I was timetabled in to be in Monday-Friday, the commute was awful although it was only an hour it absolutely killed me driving there, especially considering I didn’t want to be there in the first place. Anyway, I’m not going to go into every reason why I’ve decided to leave but those are a few.
I think if you read the post that I wrote called ‘The Truth About Starting University’ you could tell that I wasn’t feeling the positive vibes about it all and it only went down hill from there.
I’m going to write a bit about the process that I’ve been through the past two weeks of leaving uni. I told my Mum and Dad at about half 11 at night on Wednesday the 31st, it was a big shock but they have been so supportive and incredible, I’m extremely lucky to have them. I booked an appointment with someone at uni for Monday the 5th, I booked this on the Friday when I had made my mind up 100%. On the Sunday before my appointment I created a brand new CV and applied for a lot of jobs, this was incredibly exciting and put me in a more positive mindset for the appointment the next day.
So last Monday I had the appointment where I spoke to a lovely woman, I completely broke down and was a mess but she was so supportive and reassuring. The process was fairly quick and not stressful at all. I only spoke to three people and then it was done, I had officially left university! I literally just wanted to celebrate which I did the next day with my boyfriend, we went the cinemas, bowling and for a Frankie and Benny’s.
You may be wondering what I’m going to do now so I’ll explain. I’m going to get a full time job, I definitely need to improve all of my skills and gain some life experience as well as doing something that I enjoy. I’m still going to blog, 100%!! As I get a job and start working my schedule may change but I will make sure you’re all kept in the loop (make sure your following my social medias as updates will be shared there).
I actually have an interview tomorrow, please send me all of the positive vibes and luck that you have!! I really want this job, it is exactly what I see myself doing and is perfect. I’ll let you know what it is if I get the job in another life update post. I do have another opportunity in the pipe line which I’m 50/50 about and if I told you all you wouldn’t believe it but I’m not 100% yet.
Anyway I think I’ve covered all of the bases. I hope you continue to support me in this next chapter of my life, I will make sure you know exactly what’s going on when I’m able to do so.
Please leave me any questions you have about dropping out of university, whether it be about my reasons/student finance/consequences etc. I may do a Q and A style post to answer any!
Thank you so much for reading, I do hope you enjoyed it although it isn’t too enjoyable haha!
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