The last time that I uploaded a blog post was mid July, that’s nearly 3 months ago. The past three months have been life changing for me for so many reasons. I can’t even begin to fathom what they’ve been like but you all deserve an explanation as to why I haven’t been uploading. So, let’s jump right into it as I have a feeling it’s going to be a long one…
I didn’t intentionally sit down and think I’m going to stop posting on my blog. That was never a thought. At the start of my break it was completely unintentional, my job was getting really challenging, mentally and physically. I was exhausted, I was pushed to the brink mentally and although I hate to admit it I was really struggling. I let everything go completely- my work/life balance became none existent, I stopped looking after myself and caring about anything altogether. I had no energy to do anything other than work, which I struggled with daily. I would carry my blog notebook with me to every call but never had time to write down ideas although I had hundreds floating around in my head. I knew something had to change I was just waiting for it too instead of taking action myself which is a big mistake. One thing that I’ve learnt this past few months is NOTHING CHANGES IF NOTHING CHANGES.
The thing that changed everything happened on Thursday 9th August at around 4.45PM. I’d had an amazing day at my sister’s house, I was due at a call in Formby at 5PM. On my way I was completely out of it, distracted looking in my rear view mirror searching for the car/van to match the sirens I’d just heard when I crashed into the car in front of me. I don’t want to talk too much about what I went through with the crash as I would like to do a full post on my experience, the aftermath and recovery (if that’s something you’d like to read?). Luckily, I was physically okay bar a severe case of whiplash and a broken heart. My car was a write off, I’d worked so hard to be able to get my new car and six weeks later it was at a salvage yard. I’ll never be able to fully comprehend how I felt the week following the crash, it’s the lowest I’ve ever been and hopefully will ever be.
One thing the crash did teach me was that I needed something to change. It was the biggest wake up call I’ve ever had and being honest it did me wonders. I started searching for a new job immediately as my job played a large role in the decline of my mental health and why I started to lose myself. I’m not going to sit here slating the company etc. but I had a really unhealthy relationship with my job and needed to get out as soon as possible.
Two weeks later I finally had time off of work to celebrate both mine and Jacob’s 19th birthdays. I had 11 days off and they’re up there with some of the best days of my life. I made so many unforgettable memories, I took time to look after myself, do things that I love and enjoy and I healed. I felt like I’d finally found myself at the end of those 11 days.
During my time off I turned 19. My 18th year was an eye opener, it’s been the busiest, most stressful, rollercoaster of a year but I’ve grown so much, learnt a lot and I can look back on it fondly (ish). I knew that things were going to be different in my 19th year and they really have. I cannot stress enough how much better things have got since my birthday, I’ve been inundated with good news, love and happiness which I’m so grateful for. I really needed things to get better and they did. I’m sure they always do.
Also, during my time off I had an interview for a rehabilitation facility for adults with acquired brain injuries. The interview went amazing, the next day I had a taster day, got offered the job there and then, happily accepted and sent in my notice that night. I worked two hard weeks at my previous jobs, said extremely hard goodbyes and started a fresh. My new job is amazing, I’ve just finished my first full week as a rehabilitation coach and I absolutely love it, the shift patterns give me time to enjoy a life as well as my job, the people I work with and for are all a dream and I’m finally happy to be getting into my car in the morning!
Speaking of cars I’ve had my new car for just over a month and I’m so settled with it. I went for another Vauxhall Adam this time it’s an Adam Rocks 1.4 and is stunning. I get in it every morning and feel grateful that I’ve got such an amazing car. I feel so lucky.
So, as you can gather the past few months have been up and down and I have completely neglected my blog. But as you can tell I’ve been rather distracted. I did debate just deleting the whole thing being completely honest, I just couldn’t see myself coming back from such a lengthy break but I have so much passion for my blog and I’ve worked so hard on it that I’m not willing to give it up just like that. Things are going to be different from now on, I’m not putting pressure on myself to upload, I’m going to upload when I want too and feel it’s right to do so. I’m not going to promise a set upload day etc. as I can never guarantee that. What I can promise is that I’m going to try my best. I have a mind full of ideas that I can’t wait to get into posts and out for you all. The next few ones coming are so exciting!
I just want to say some massive thank you’s. My family have been amazing, the support network that I have is second to none and is something I’ll forever be grateful for. Jacob, I’ll love you forever for everything you’ve done for me. Thank you to anyone whose messaged me on Instagram, the support I’ve received has been so lovely and heartwarming and is one of the reasons I’m here writing this now. If you’re reading this THANK YOU, I know I wouldn’t have stuck by me so THANK YOU!
I’m so glad to be back.
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